Sometimes Im quiet.
I mean not if you know me in person.
Im hardly quiet.
But here, its hard sometimes to come here and write
and not feel like a broken record over and over again.
Foster care is hard. We miss R. Blah blah blah.
Im struggling with that feeling of everyone wanting us to get over it.
So I stay quiet. But really I miss him a lot.
But me not saying that is more comfortable for a lot of people.
Heck its more comfortable for me.
The other night I finally processed how I feel about this.
So concerned with everyone else.
The truth is.
I wanted to be his mama. Thats the truth.
The house is holiday fied.
Christmas cards are here, I'm addressing and stamping.
Cade lost a tooth. My baby boy.
Ornaments get broken at least once a day.
I don't care. They are just ornaments.
Life has a chunk extra of perspective.
Im glad there crazy wild hands can break an ornament.
If baby boy were here, we would have ornaments from 2 feet high only.
Rylan has a wish list - an alarm clock, a robe.
Cade doesn't. It hasn't occurred to him to ask for anything yet.
I love them so much. I am a proud mama.
Nick and I went away for a whole week, which I want to blog so badly
Im waiting on some pictures we ordered.
Just know that we never left each others side,
we talked a lot
ate a lot
laughed a lot.
It healed so much.
I love this season of life, and I can't wait to be just us either.
He is seriously still the most fun person to be around.
I smiled a lot.
And I miss him so much now that we are home and doing a lot of life.
However, I have tan lines from said trip. And a runny nose.
Its not a cute combo.
And not during my busy photo season.
I wrapped gifts and homeschool prepped yesterday.
Maybe just maybe I watched a parenthood and boo hoo'd.
Im reading I captured the castle and loving it.
Im eating too much sugar.
The table is a constant art project.
I love it.
Life is layered.
So layered. with greif, and joy.
So for that Im grateful.
I am not quite at all on instagram.. so if you need more regular hellos.
Say hi there. leslieautumn
Field Trip – Keller Style, Part 8
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